Doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well

I'm super duper excited for my days off this week. I took Friday off so we can bbq in our backyards with some friends, and Thursday night my red-haired hooker friend Adriennit is coming to town to feast on homemade Thai food and mojitos. Hilarity shall ensue, and it will be well documented when we take pictures and post them on this blog for the world to share in our silliness.

Elora is a funny girl. She is now rolling from her back to her stomach, but hasn't quit mastered getting to her back again. When she wakes up she begins punching me in the face and arching her little back while turning onto her side like she's trying to put her face up for kisses. Here's a sweet little picture of her:




Here are a couple that Thad took that made me laugh.
WET BABY


DRY BABY


And here is another, just for fun:


I realize that my previous post about that friend who has remained nameless sounds very harsh. I'm not editing it or taking it down because the spirit of the blog is nothing I feel remorse for. I don't think that I should have said as many things as I did about that person's blogs or their issues, because I would hate for someone to say those kinds of things about me.

In the same token, if I ever treated someone I proclaimed to love the way that this person has treated me, regardless of her reasons for doing so, I would fully expect to be taken to task about it. I'd hate to think that this scenario was one of those "pointing the finger means you have three more pointing back at you" situations, so if you've been done a horrible injustice by me in the past, present, or sense an injustice in the future, let me know..... in the comments!

Well, folks....queue the violins.

I've passive-aggressively dealt with the situation. I've deleted her from my friends list, and I guess if she wonders why she'll go ahead and call me.

Otherwise, if she doesn't, it's not going to rock my world anyways, because I wasn't important enough to warrant a call before I made this decision, so I probably won't be important enough to reconcile with.

It bums me out when things like this happen. But it helps to know that everyone I've talked to about this agrees that she's a flake and that I am a worthwhile person.

On a lighter note, Elora is wonderful, just the softest little monkey that ever blessed the earth. I took her to my doctor's appointment at the oncologists' office today, and everyone loved her. She's a pretty cute baby, and Riaz pointed out that the probability to reproduce such a perfect specimen of humanity from my wretched womb is very slim.

Here is a picture of us in the doctor's office:


I'm a complete scoob, I know, but we have fun together.

Friends OFF (And I ain't foolin')

Well, I have just reached the end of my rope with someone.

I have this friend, you see. She's not really a good friend, she's barely my acquaintance any more, but here's a run-down of her ridiculous behavior, because I want to display just how much of a POS this person is.

1) She has not contacted me once since Elora was born. And by contact I don't mean messaging on myspace, because that's a bullshit excuse for communication (no offense to all the people I communicate with via myspace, because most of these people bother to call me if they are close to me and care about my family, rather than expecting that the occasional comment or message will constitute as a friendship). Yet this person seems to have all the time in the world to write nonsensical, ridiculous blogs about how people need to get over shit that she does to them intentionally. Case in point: SHE DELETED SEVERAL FRIENDS OF HER BOYFRIEND WHILE THEY WERE BROKEN UP BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF HIM, YET THEY JUST NEED TO GET OVER IT SINCE THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER. Grow up and get over yourself. It was petty and juvenile to delete them just because they are friends with your ex, so don't expect that your immature behavior is going to be excused.

2) Along the lines of her ridiculous blogs, she tries to make herself sound smart and creative by using words and phrases that have no actual place in the English language. It must be really nice to throw grammar to the wind and ramble online about stupid shit and how she's going to make her life better by setting aside petty bullshit and letting the sun shine in her windows, la-di-freaking-da. In real life, you don't have to write blogs to convince yourself that you're a good person. You just are, or you aren't.

3) When I called her out on not calling me since Elora was born, after several attempts to contact her that went unanswered, she tried to tell me that she's been thinking about me and my family and values my friendship, blah blah blah blah blah blaah, but when it comes down to it, she's still too fucking self involved to get in touch with me. Well, if that's the way you wanna play it, game on.

I just needed to rage about this. I've decided that even though we've been friends since high school I have no room in my life for someone who is too busy being so creative and deep and "feeling all these feelings" to bother to call me. I have a literal SHIT-TON of great friends who love me and don't find it a burden or hardship to stay in touch with me.

I am done with you. When you grow up and realize that you're self-centered and aren't as interesting as you think you are you may want to try harder to be a better friend to the people who still talk to you.

No comments on this blog, because the people that are my friends aren't interested in your bullshit excuses, and neither am I.

Blogworthy!

I just wanted to share some of the wealth from my wit-tay conversations with fellow employee and dry humor enthusiast Greg.

Whenever I try to show Greg how witty I am he tells me I'm saying something "blogworthy". Now, this is usually said with a hint of facetiousness, but I think the spirit of his "blogworthy" comments is to encourage me to express myself by writing.

So I hope that this blog is considered blogworthy. If you want to read what he considers blogworthy, pop in HERE

Thanks to Greg for teaching me to hyperlink. YOU ARE THE HELP LINE COMMANDER, GREG!

I'm changing the font up, watch out people!

Yes, I'm back not necessarily with a vengeance, but I'm here, so that's good enough. It's been a nice slow night, enough time to get my gossip caught up on. I've found a pretty funny site, www.quizlaw.com. It offers a glimpse at the stupid side of the law. Plus it gives a few insights into the workings of our political machine, which I never catch up on myself. I'm totally craving some of Thad's chicken fried rice. We had a pretty ok day today. Compared the other night when my basement flooded!

The basement flooded as a result of the pipe that supplies our front spigot was broken and it runs between the floor joists. So when Thad watered the front yard for the first time it the water POURED out the light fixture hole in our basement right above our BRAND NEW COUCH. So the couch and ottoman were soaked, the floor was soaked, and the drywall was saturated. So we called Americlean Thursday night after calling our insurance, and they brought some industrial size fans in to dry everything out. So we have had 3 industrial size fans going 24 hours since Friday, and they likely won't be removed until Wednesday.

The whole situation is not great, but the silver lining is that we have good insurance, so we should hopefully get everything taken care of with minimal pain to our finances.

In other news, Elora has been rolling from her back to her stomach! I saw it today, so I put today's date in her baby book, even though Thad says she's been doing it for a while. Here is possibly one of the most adorable pictures of her:



FYI- she has cereal on her face, not snot. I wouldn't let my kid sit with this much snot on her face so I could take a picture........strike that, I totally would.

I get my haircut on Wednesday, and I'm going shorter and sassier. Think Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Stranger Than Fiction":



Well, I hope that this appeases all of you hungry for news from little old me. Write me a love note in the comments!

The best tip I've ever heard

You can freeze berries when you buy too many. Gently wash them, then pat dry, arrange in a single layer on a cookie sheet and freeze. That way they don't freeze together in one giant clump. Place in a freezer bag, and pick them out as you see fit. You can do this to strawberries, raspberries or blackberries. If you freeze blueberries, don't wash first, since it can toughen the skin. Instead, was the thawed blueberries before using them.

I have a bunch of strawberries this year, so I'm looking forward to trying this out. Praise Jesus for Kraft Food + Family magazine. It's truly awesome.

Check out www.kraftfoods.com to sign up, it's a quarterly with TONS of great recipes. You can also search for recipe ideas on their website by popping in a few ingredients and selecting what kind of meal you want.

I don't understand....

Holy cow, I'm having just the most intense rage tonight. I had already thrown my pity party, and had just cleaned up the punchbowl from that shindig, and I get home and just want to physically beat something. Not my child, of course, but it just fucking STINKS in my house. I had gone to Walmart to pick up some essentials: milk, creamer, some apples, oranges and lemons, as well as some wine and beer, and I walk in the door to this disgusting smell.

So, just to clarify, I didn't know exactly where the smell was coming from, but I had my guesses. Could it be the sink of dishes that have been sitting since...hmmm, say Saturday night when Thad made me a cake for Mother's Day? Hmmmm, that's defintely a good candidate, but let's take a look at Mr. Two-Days-Full Garbage Can...... that had beer cans gently laid on top and pressed into the garbage, so as to stay in the garbage through ABSORPTION. As long as the garbage kind of holds onto the can, it's technically all good. Well, he, also, could be the culprit behind the noxious aroma permeating my home. So I get to take care of both problems, all the while fucking SCREAMING at Thad in my head, telling him all manner of things regarding how much I seem to give and give and give, and barely see any effort in return.

Well, I've martyred myself in my head to my fullest ability. These holes on my hands really heal quickly every time I nail myself up on that cross. It isn't as though he doesn't do anything, but I feel like I can't ever criticize because a) he'd take it so personally as some kind of slam to his parenting abilities and b) I don't want to a bitch and a nag. But I'm fucking SINKING in what feels like the never ending parade of his laundry and cleaning up after him after he's had the baby all night, and not really getting any break where I'm not totally at work or totally in charge of the child. Even on my days off he gets a break, but on the weekends I usually have to get up with the baby regardless of what time I got to sleep after I came home from work or how many times I'd gotten up with her the night before.

But for the reasons listed above, I don't tell him how much it bothers me. I rage and rage and rage while I just get the shit done, and then I don't feel so bad about it in the morning. I have the fight in my head that I don't have the energy to have in reality. I can go rounds with Thad in my head, because I'm feistier and always right in my head. In reality this isn't the case. "How can Thad know it's bothering you if you don't tell him?" Some of you may ask yourselves this question. And the answer is, "I don't really care how he knows, he is just supposed to". I'm a girl, I reserve the right to be pissed off for a good reason, but I don't have to share that reason with the person I'm pissed with. If they don't know what they did to deserve it, I shouldn't have to tell them. Ticket for one to CRAZYTOWN!

I really need to address this stuff with him, but I find myself not wanting to have a fight about it. So for all those people that think it's gutless to write someone a letter, or break up over the phone, you may find my passive aggressive tactic at dealing with my anger issues and frustration a little sad and cowardly. I'm completely okay with that. I doubt he'll ever read my blog anyways. But if he does, baby, I wanted it noted that tonight was not a good night, and I hope that you attempt to make tomorrow night better.

Funny $hit

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/05/15/stare-long-and-hard-into-the-eyes-of-sadness/


Seriously.....laughed really hard when answering a call because of this post. What would Papa Al think of him now?

Interview Master

I had my interview for the supervisor position today. I think I did really well. I don't know if it was enough to secure me the position, but I felt good answering the questions, and I think that my answers really represented me well.

I'm throwing a pity party. Thad is eating dinner with friends tonight, and my baby is there, and I bet he's having a great time, and can't help but wonder if part of the reason he's having a good time is because I'm not there. BOO HOO! God I'm a wiener.

Yeah, I meant to say wiener, not whiner. If I was a whiner in my blog I would be a "bwhiner", as I mentioned in my very first post. But it bums me out that he's out there, living the life of a single dad, hanging out with friends while their girlfriends or what not are holding the baby and ooooohing and aaaaahing (these girls are my friends too, but it's my pity party, so I'll ignore that fact) while I'm here slaving away to make a buck and come home to spend both my days off taking care of my child while he gets to go help his friend move and get out of the house.

Here is my day on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays:
10:00am I try to sleep in until about 10 so that I can function from 3-midnight for work. This only happens when Elora cooperates and stays in a soggy diaper for a couple hours. She wakes up happy, so lay off my parenting skills

10:15am-1:00pm This time is filled with attempting to eat a couple small meals while still giving my child attention, as well as showering and trying to get basic housework done. Thad thinks that he helps a whole bunch, I think, but if that were the case I wouldn't have do the dishes almost every other day. I usually try to put Elora in her walker so she can watch me while I do dishes. Even this young it's tempting to plop her in front of the tv, and admit that Baby Einstein has allowed me to shower without a child crying a few times lately. It doesn't help that she loves tv.

1:00-2:00pm If I haven't left for work a little early I'm usually racing around trying to get my diaper bag together, dress myself, get the dogs into the house to eat and then back out to their pen in the yard, dress and change the baby, make sure she's fed, and then racing out the door to get her over to my sister and brother-in-law's for daycare.

2:00-2:30 I am usually headed into work by this time, stopping occasionally for an iced coffee at McDonald's, or a granita at Mountain Mudd.

3:00-midnight I field questions from fellow customer care associates. These can range from payment issues, billing questions, troubleshooting problems, and customer's that want to talk to a supervisor. While performing these duties I am attempting to catch up on emails, as well as staying on top of breaking gossip news on my favorite blogs.

12:00-1:00AM I'm usually on my way home from work, and if you are a drunk on the streets of Billings you better WATCH OUT! My phone has the Billings Police Department in it's contact list, and I called in a drunky last week. I get home, sneaking in like a thief, and immediately wash my hands and brush my teeth. I usually feel a little dirty and gross after eating at work and not brushing in a while, so much so I've considered getting a toothbrush to bring to work with me. Then I usually eat something (I know, defeats the purpose of brushing), watch a little tv or play Oblivion, maybe drink a beer, and head to bed.

My baby is always waiting for me on my side of the bed. I have to slide her closer to her father so I can take up my post (which means I'm balancing precariously on the edge of the bed trying not to fall off while Thad tries to tell me he's on the edge of his side while he's laying flat on his back with a foot of space between him and the edge). Once I've successfully weaned her she'll be in her crib, but I'm holding off just a little longer. I have loved nursing, and it's so easy, but it is fast approaching its end.

Well, I've gone on and on, and I haven't even asked about you..... How are you tonight?

Thad sent this to me

It's kind of sweet in a weird way. But Mr. T is not a good singer/rapper/choreographer.

Monday Monday

Well, I'm sitting at work, doing my thang. Reading my celebrity gossip. One of the most interesting stories of the day involves Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachael Wood doin' it in his new music video.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1zcii_idontlikeyouinthatwaycom-manson

I didn't want to put up the embedded player because I didn't really want the image of a 19 year old girl faking an orgasm with Marilyn Manson anywhere near a picture of my child's face. He has turned into a lecherous, dirty old man somewhat. I still like his music, don't get me wrong, but come on. Dita was GORGEOUS, though she seems slightly vapid, and Evan seems like she's making up for some daddy issues. It reminds me of a song......a country song......"Lookin' for love in all the wrong places.....". That's so nice.

I need to work on my schmooze a little bit, I interview for a supervisor position at work tomorrow. Kind of wish I had someone to quiz me on my long and expressive answers. I hate interviews because I am great at b.s., but you really have to think on your feet.... be light on your toes...... have well shaped calves. Just kidding. But I always feel like I'm taking too long thinking about an answer when I've got someone waiting to write down my response. Performance anxiety, I guess, and it strikes when I'm ordering at a restaurant too.

Well, I want to work on this book a little more, it's getting a little more frenzied. It's kind of at the point that I know bad shit is going to hit the fan, but I can't stop now, I'm in too deep. I bet this is what it feels like when you've started a killing spree and you just can't stop....oh....uh.....maybe not like that at all.

Oh, I almost forgot the happy news!

One of my best friends is engaged! Rick popped the question to Jen today, and gave her this beeeeautiful ring!



He's lucky to have her, and I told her that. I hope that they are married a million, happy years and make Elora some cute friends to play with. Speaking of cute babies, check this one out.



Daddy gave her a bath last night, and she crapped so hard today it went up her front and filled her belly button. That's my girl!

A long slow night in customer service

Well, it's a nice evening to put up a meaningless post of my activities. I guess I can tell you about my Mother's Day as well.

I got home at almost 1:00 AM last night, and Thad had stayed up for me. I walk into the kitchen, and there is a chocolate cake and a MST3K dvd box set on the table. Now, if there's two things I love, it's chocolate cake and MST3K. Thad told me that Elora had made the cake (under his supervision of course). It was great. I made a little soup for us to eat together, then we settled in to eat a little cake and watch a little MST3K, until I was falling asleep.

Then today I got some beautiful homemade cards from my niece and nephew, Quayd and Clover. I will repost this soon with pictures of the them, with Elora, that I took so I could get them printed and framed for my mom. Speaking of my mom, I wished her a happy Mother's Day, and received well wishes from my dad, brother, and sister.

I'm reading Labryrinth by Kate Mosse right now, and the book is a little slow getting to the point of all the information they throw at you. I'm getting into it, and hope to have it finished by Wednesday. It's not bad, but I'm really eager to find out what's happening, and why.

Well, 45 minutes to go before the end of my "Wednesday". I know that it seems pointless to be writing on this blog when hardly anyone looks at it, but I might pare down my myspace a little bit so that people start looking here for all the new info on my crazy life.

Just an old fashioned love song.........

I'm trying to decide what I want to really focus on when I write. I love all the celebrity gossip sites, but don't really feel like what I would say about celebrities would be funny enough to warrant another celebrity gossip blog.

I guess I'll just attempt to put my own life into this blog, and hopefully it makes some people chuckle.

Like today, Thad and I were in the living room with the baby before we went to breakfast. I had turned on Sprout as background noise for Elora, as well as something she could look at periodically and see lots of bright colors. Barney was on, and Barney does this horrible laugh after everything he says. A stupid, yuk-yuk-yuk laugh. So Thad started doing it after everything he said. Pretty hilarious. Plus, he makes up dirty lyrics to any song, so to hear his version of any Barney song including blumpkins or penises is just too much.

Tomorrow is my first official Mother's Day, and I'm working. I don't know if Thad has any big, nice plans for me, especially since we're a little cash poor right now until my pay day on Friday. Now I have to eat my Lean Cuisine meals to keep myself from going out to eat all the time. Mickey D's sounds good though. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun..... mmmmmm. Fuck it, I might just have to eat fast food this one last time. Last time, I promise. For realsies.

So here I am, alone by the side of the road

Okay, not really. I just got to work, and there are emails that I had sent to our communal inbox last night to ensure someone followed up on them this morning, and nothing was done. Granted, I should have called at least one of them last night, but by the time I checked the messages it was too late.

Annoyed, I now have to call both of these people back myself, and neither one of them are going to be happy. Ugh, my least favorite part of my job. Plus I think I have a cavity, my lower teeth are a little sore today. Now I have to plan a trip to the dentist, which will be SUCH a treat.

Speaking of treats, here's a little something sweet for you:



Who doesn't love a little night moves.

Working

Well, most of my posts will likely be while I'm at work, waiting to help my fellow employees with their questions about billing, troubleshooting, and all sorts of good stuff.

Introducing...........ME!

My first post! I'm hoping to make many, maaaany more regarding the fantastic world of motherhood, wifehood, friendhood, sisterhood, and womanhood. That's a lot of hoods, but when youse a gangsta you're always in the 'hood.

My name is Mary Rose. I live in beeeautiful Montana, and have a lot of great friends, a beautiful family, and I enjoy my life, pretty much. I have been married for going on 4 years to the love of my life, Thad, and in January we received the greatest blessing in the form of our little girl, Elora Leah, who is "Cuter than Suri, sweeter than Shiloh".

Here she is!


I hope to be joined in blogging by the lovely Miss Adrienne, in a kind of "tag team of wit" scenario. She's really very funny, as this picture of us should demonstrate.



So keep coming back, I may not update all the time, but I'll try to keep it entertaining.

Here's a little gem for you:
When one wants to whine in a blog, it shall be dubbed a "bwhine".

AHAHAHAHAHA, *sniffle* *gasp* Oh, please *wipe eyes* my sides.