Wednesday, December 8, 2010

As we writhe towards ecstasy

Oh, Christmas, a most magical and wonderous time of year. I've begun shamelessly using the age-old tradition of bribery for good behavior and better sleeping habits. I don't even find shame in admitting it: I cajole my young, gullible children. I guess the myths that we feed our children regarding the holiday season can't be worse than the irreparable damage we will do to them as they come to realize what reality and adulthood are really like. At least for this brief window in time we give them a grander scale of hopes with a much smaller disappointment factor when they realize that the death of Santa doesn't mean the death of presents. Let's hear a huzzah for capitalism!

I was being slightly sarcastic at the end of the last paragraph, but I do genuinely enjoy the Christmas season. But I can't help but look at this time of year with two sets of eyes. The eyes of the person who has fond memories of this time of year growing up, without remembering what a struggle my parents were going through to make sure they could juggle groceries with gift-giving. I try to remind myself that I don't have to feel pressured to just keep buying and buying and buying, that I just want to relax and remember the reason for the season, but this year I am ready for winter to be over. Christmas may be magical, but it's just one more day on the way to next year, and I'm already looking forward to camping and smaller boobs. In my book, 2010 can't be over fast enough.

This is my first post as a 30 year old. Do I sound sooooo much more mature than in the past. That question (statement) was more rhetorical than literal. I don't feel older. And in my opinion 2010 wasn't much of a milestone year for me, except the whole-getting-fired-and-rising-like-a-phoenix-from-the-ashes-of-my-tattered-career stuff. Oh, and seeing Muse, that would go on a Milestone calendar, if I were keeping one.

Reflecting back on the year is bittersweet, but I also realize how blessed I am that things worked out as well as they did. I got more time with my kids, unexpectedly, and I relish my weekends with them a little more knowing that I am not stressing about my new job the way I had been about the old. I'm so incredibly happy with what I'm doing, and I think that comes through in my attitude more now. I think back to my pregnancy with Colter, and I wonder if I would have been such a bitch if I hadn't been babysitting adults all day long. Really. Counting the minutes they used going to the bathroom while on company time. I'm not even joking.

We got a lot of fun jam packed into the time we spent together, my little family and I. Portland is a destination we will definitely go back to again. Either with the kids or just the two of us, but either way I can't wait to go back. And now that Colter is getting bigger and about ready to talk I foresee a lot more outdoors fun now that we can take him out to walk and explore, learn to swim and camp and run around with his sister.

So let's all raise our glasses to 2010, as we usher it out the door in less than a months' time. Next up: resolutions and tax tips for the coming year. Stay tuned!