Thai on the Fly

I am so witty! We've been kind of experiencing a stand-off of sorts in Casa Swan. The stand-off is about going to the store. Neither Thad nor I want to go to the store to get groceries after a long day of work. So we've been really trying to use some pantry items to stretch out what we have in the house until we absolutely must must MUST go to the store.

As a result of said stand-off, I've been whipping up some stuff I've been quite proud of, and last night was no exception.

From Drop Box

This, ladies and gentleman, is my Thai on the Fly. I did the following:

I cooked up some Coconut Rice (you'll have to search Food Network for the recipe, because I don't have time to link that shizz up) and while that was going I started some oil heating in my dutch oven. I added green curry paste, a little bit of soy sauce, fish sauce, tamarind paste, and a dollop of ginger preserves (in lieu of fresh ginger). To this concoction I ladled in a little of the excess coconut milk that was still cooking with the rice, and then cooked some sliced chicken up in it.

Last but very not least, I used the only remaining fresh vegetable in my house, green onions, to garnish, and VOILA!

I will admit, the smell was potent and there were complaints from some whiners in the house, but both those whiners ate their chicken just fine.

Nrrrrd girl

I love mornings, especially early mornings when everyone is asleep and I get some time to play video games. I've been a gaming nerd since the original Nintendo, and I was lucky enough to find a gaming soul mate that can understand my desire to play video games because he himself shares the same desire.

In past years, with the arrival of the original xBox, I played the Knights of the Old Republic games. They are Star Wars games, but not affiliated with the Skywalker storyline at all. The original Fable on xBox was also played through several times. When the 360 came out the games I played the most were Elder Scrolls: Oblivion (I admittedly tried to play Morrowind and after playing Oblivion first it was a big fail), Mass Effect (both 1 and 2) and Fallout 3.

We upgraded to include a PS3 two Christmases ago, and I haven't done as much on that, starting Dragon Age: Origins but never finishing it, but recently I've been balls deep in Fallout: New Vegas. It's everything I love about Fallout and Oblivion, as they were made by some of the same folks, and it plays and plays for ever.

I don't play games with others. Thad likes to shoot people on Call of Duty: Black Ops and I simply don't have the killer instinct or the desire to be mocked for my inability to perform under pressure. It seems like there would be pressure, since the object isn't just to stay alive, it's to kill as many folks as possible. Just thinking about it makes me go into spasms, which would be exactly what you would see if I was playing it.

A week from Friday finally go on our little weekend vacation with some friends. We're spending two nights in Chico Hot Springs, and we got a cabin with a kitchen so we can cook a few of our meals while we're there. We plan on eating at The Second Street Bistro.

in Livingston to celebrate Thad and our friend Joel's 30th birthdays in February. We plan on swimming, drinking, swimming, eating, and playing some games. I can't wait to get my Egyptian Rat Screw on.

Well, it's rapidly approaching the time of morning when my ass must get into gear. Have a wondeful day, everybody!!!

To my bitches.... and my hoes

My blog title is the toast I had wanted to use this weekend while toasting something, but alas, it went unused. It even involves looking at two people (whoever was to be present during said toast) while I say the words "bitches" and "hoes" for an effect. I'm not sure what effect the toast would have received, but in hindsight it's just good to know that I had a toast prepared if necessary. And it was more appropriate than my usual "To Nazis" toast.

By way of explanation, the toast "To Nazis" has never, and will never, be actually related to the fascist regime it shares it's nomenclature with. It's a long story, with an end result that I used that toast and the expressions on faces were priceless. Some people even put their glasses down like I'd said "To eating babies" or "To belly button lint in your sandwich". But I know at least 2 people that will happily raise their glass and toast "To Nazis", so the horror on everyone else's face is the price we will have to pay.

Wow, that was rambling and nonsensical, and ate up the better portion of my blog-writing time in the break room. So here's what's been happening since the last episode:

Elora, the pixie-sprite I gave birth to, turned 4 on 1/19. We decided to take her to The Reef, and indoor waterpark between Billings and Laurel. We had taken her once before, right before Colter was born, and she really had a good time. My friend Morgan helped organize the whole party, and we had some some friends and cousins make it to the little shindig we had there.

From Drop Box

Birthday girl after her big day

From Drop Box

Daddy and Colter B, eating some 'za

From Drop Box

Morgan showing Elora her Tinkerbell cake

From Drop Box

Elora's birthday cake. Pretty cool, thanks to Sabra for doing it

From Drop Box

The cutest of her cute new birthday outfits (at least the ones her parents bought her)

Tangent: I have 4 different kinds of Indian seasoning that I got for my birthday/Christmas present. Among them is one called Balti, which I adore pronouncing with my best Bollywood accent. I will freely admit that I love the inflection of Indian accents, as well as the movies with all the dancing. We do a Bollywood style dance in Zumba, and it is pretty much the happiest part of each workout for me.

I got the above gift when I finally made my first strike-out-on-my-own attempt since heaving a second little Swan from my womb in 2009. It was an overnight, and I'm probably a masochist because instead of going somewhere where I could just sit and be still and silent and childless, I opted to go see my friend Adrienne and hang out with her and her twins for 24 hours. We used her birthday/Christmas present to create a feast. A feast the likes of which Colstrip has likely never seen. A feast that included it's own homemade flatbread and a large cache of fresh cilantro.

From Drop Box

She's on the phone with her husband.

From Drop Box

We decided to do shit up right and put every spare bracelet she had in the place on me.



We invited over a couple chicks and played Just Dance 2 for a few hours. It was a delightful time, filled with wine, Indian food, a lot of laughter, and some old-fashioned booty shaking.

From Drop Box

We progressively got a little sillier as the night went on

From Drop Box

This is by far my favorite picture of the evening.

From Drop Box

I coax smiles out of babies like a pro. Avery agrees.

From Drop Box

Reese agrees with her sister.

And now for a few pictures of my own babies, from just this morning. They are just adorable little placenta treasures.

From Drop Box

Serious bed head

From Drop Box

Early mornings are filled with blank stares

From Drop Box

Piggy!

From Drop Box

Pudding face.

I meet with my plastic surgeon later this week to consult on my breast reduction. The doctor at my clinic at work used the term "slam dunk" when I asked him about preauthorization, so I'm fairly confident that the pictures that will be sent to people at my work for them to preauthorize my reduction will be well worth the potential awkwardness of knowing people at work have seen my boobs. My old boobs.

Next month Thad catches up to me and joins his 30s, and we are taking a weekend off to go to Chico Hot Springs with some friends. Rent a cabin, sans children, and spend a couple days soaking and drinking in a pool. Couple that with a dinner out on the town and being with good friends and I think we'll be having a solid gold weekend.

Now, it's off to bed with me. This was a loooooong blog to write, and was constructed over the course of two days. It's rambling, incoherent, and smells like it's hungover. I wouldn't believe a work coming out of my fingers if you've gotten this far. Good night@

Welcome to the future of La Madre Loca

I'm typing this via my new phone. I've taken the plunge and purchased a smart phone. This means I should become hella more organized,right? I will admit that the new phone is going to make my menu planning a little bit easier now that I can use Ziplist whenever I need to, and Thad and I both use their app so we can have the most up to date grocery list whenever one of us goes to the store. Plus you can add recipes and create your list from those recipes.

Anyways, that's my plug for Ziplist. I am now going to learn more about using this little device. I'm pretty much one of Google's bitches but now I can access all that info away from my laptop. Google docs, calendar, reader, all accessible via my phone. Allow me to bask in the glow of my newfound efficiency.

BOOBS!

Holy buckets, 2011 is already starting out to be a pretty great year. I have already discussed when I can get a breast reduction with my employer, and I'm going to start the process and hopefully get scheduled for my consultation with the plastic surgeon soon. My hope is to get the surgery done in April, and then hopefully by this summer I'll be pretty much healed and recovered.

The joy... the ELATION... I feel is tantamount to finding out I'm going to win the lottery. The short list of things that make this amazing would be:

1. No more BACK PAIN. My back hurts when I sit, when I stand, when I lay down, no matter what I'm doing my back hurts. When I actively improve my posture it doesn't make an iota of difference. Stretching my neck and shoulders is like trying to chisel concrete. The massage therapist I saw in December said she could devote two hours to my back and that would barely crack the surface of what is going on back there.
2. Buying bras OFF THE RACK. Do you think the average woman has to spend at least 40 dollars on a bra? No, she can go to Walmart, Target, Ross, really anywhere with a bra rack and get a bra in any color shape and (normal) size. I have to go to a special store to get fitted with bras because my boobs are a..... wait for it...... G cup. The 2 bras in my actual size that I wear regularly are still nursing bras from when I had Colter. Let's just say my other bra isn't my size, but it keeps my boobies up by my shoulders where I want them.
3. Wearing tops with DESIGNATED BOOBIE AREAS. Summer time is the worst time for big boobs. In addition to the boob sweat (dear lord, the boob sweat is horrible in and of itself, but I didn't want boob sweat to be on my list of reasons that I'm excited) you are also cursed with the inability to buy most normal tops at the above mentioned stores that are designed for smaller busts. Most tank tops have a little area the boobs are supposed to stay within. Mine always stray.
4. Exercising won't be a session of TRYING TO AVOID A BLACK EYE. I love Zumba, LOVE IT, but I find myself watching my reflection and seeing these two giant fun bags competing with my sweet dance moves for attention. I have to wear a sports bra with about 30 clasps going up the front that pushes my boobs against forming a layer of body armor. Forget regular sports bras, those would be like trying to use a bungee cord to tow a car.

I didn't make any real "resolutions" for this year. After making it out alive last year, and finding myself in a better career fit than I thought I would get, I was just looking forward to 2011 being the year I finally got this boob situation handled. But I have decided to make one small resolution this year, so here goes.

I haven't had more than one actual party at my house since we moved in over a year ago. I've been pondering why I'm so reticent on entertaining here, and some of it boils down to kids. My kids are like spider monkeys around strangers and crowds, and introducing strangers and a crowd into my house is about as appealing as having pongee sticks inserted under my finger nails one by one. They will cling and whine and neither of those things is very appealing. I've also been realizing that I am a fickle mistress when it comes to decision making. I make decisions on my own every day, but the only ones I don't have a problem with are the ones that I know I won't get told that I made the WRONG decision on.

So my goals for 2011 are going to be to have a bon voyage party for my boobs. I'm going to work with my friend Morgan on acquiring some better hostess/party planning skills and I'm going to plan to get my kids out of the house and try to have some fun. Of course I'm not referring to a party like in the days of old-Mary, god willing I don't puke up strawberry shortcake into my sink during any of my parties in 2011, but I sure as hell plan to give Goopy Paltrow a run for her money in the DO department.

So here is to 2011, smaller boobs, maybe some parties, and some alone time for the parents in my little household. Thad turns the big 3-0 next month with another friend of ours, and we've got a little getaway plan in the works. Bring on spring, bring on the summer and camping and friends and fun. I am so excited I could just spit!

New Years Ponderings

In the natural sequence of things, Christmas came and went, and along with it New Years as well. We are now no longer poised on the edge of 2011, we're already 3 days in. Here is a recap:

• Christmas was great, we spent it quietly at home, just the kids and Thad and I, with a visit from my brother in law, sister in law, and niece. The kids got beaucoup presents, and I got a fabulous red enameled dutch oven and a metal handle for it.
• My mom came and stayed the week after Christmas while our daycare was closed. I don't know how the woman puts up with me at times, as she noted on a little notepad before she departed, "Mary Rose, I love you even when you're bitchy".
• I got to see some very great friends that I only get to see once a year anymore. My friends Jen and Rick came and spent Christmas Eve Eve with us, along with our mutual pal Laura, and we had a wonderful time catching up over Tom & Jerry's and psuedo-Four Lokos. These are our Portland pals and I love and miss them very much.
• We also got to see our friend Brian from LA. Brian and I go way back to Red Lobster in the summer of 2001, but we have taken very different paths since we were both hosting that summer. Brian is a very brilliant guy working for a huge aerospace company in California, and he is now a big-wig over yonder. He got to witness my brother and husband trying to make the other puke by eating bar fare like pickled eggs, sausages, and gizzards. Neither one of them puked, but my brother makes faces like a little bitch when he eats something disgusting. BOO YAH, JOHN.
• New Years Eve was pretty uneventful. We made plans to go to dinner with a couple other couples, and those plans fell through spectacularly, so Thad and I went alone, then went to my former coworker Matt's house. Let the record show: I insisted on going home at 11:30 so we could maybe be with our kids at midnight, and neither of those kids were awake, or even wakeable, when we got home. Am I glad I went home early: HELLS YES. Because staying out until the bars close, while it's definitely doable, is not what I consider a good time anymore.
• The rest of the weekend was devoted to doing laundry (which was nearly all done, hooray!), dishes on top of dishes on top of dishes, cleaning, and playing.

Kid Update 2011:
Colter should, GOD WILLING, have most of his teeth in soon. He got an ear infection a couple weeks before Christmas and has been fighting more of one off since right after Christmas. The kid is a trooper, and I just want him to be his happy little pooper self again.

Elora had a lot of fun with her Auntie Tona last week while my mom was up, although whether Tona had much fun is debatable. I forget that when you're 10 you have very different ideas about fun than a nearly 4-year-old has. HOLY BIRTHDAY, BATMAN, Elora will be 4 in 16 days! I just got a wonderful offer of help planning her party, so I'm totally taking advantage of that offer as I type this!

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print on 1/3/11. I hope everyone had a marvelous holiday season, and is ready for a fabulous 2011!!!

As we writhe towards ecstasy

Oh, Christmas, a most magical and wonderous time of year. I've begun shamelessly using the age-old tradition of bribery for good behavior and better sleeping habits. I don't even find shame in admitting it: I cajole my young, gullible children. I guess the myths that we feed our children regarding the holiday season can't be worse than the irreparable damage we will do to them as they come to realize what reality and adulthood are really like. At least for this brief window in time we give them a grander scale of hopes with a much smaller disappointment factor when they realize that the death of Santa doesn't mean the death of presents. Let's hear a huzzah for capitalism!

I was being slightly sarcastic at the end of the last paragraph, but I do genuinely enjoy the Christmas season. But I can't help but look at this time of year with two sets of eyes. The eyes of the person who has fond memories of this time of year growing up, without remembering what a struggle my parents were going through to make sure they could juggle groceries with gift-giving. I try to remind myself that I don't have to feel pressured to just keep buying and buying and buying, that I just want to relax and remember the reason for the season, but this year I am ready for winter to be over. Christmas may be magical, but it's just one more day on the way to next year, and I'm already looking forward to camping and smaller boobs. In my book, 2010 can't be over fast enough.

This is my first post as a 30 year old. Do I sound sooooo much more mature than in the past. That question (statement) was more rhetorical than literal. I don't feel older. And in my opinion 2010 wasn't much of a milestone year for me, except the whole-getting-fired-and-rising-like-a-phoenix-from-the-ashes-of-my-tattered-career stuff. Oh, and seeing Muse, that would go on a Milestone calendar, if I were keeping one.

Reflecting back on the year is bittersweet, but I also realize how blessed I am that things worked out as well as they did. I got more time with my kids, unexpectedly, and I relish my weekends with them a little more knowing that I am not stressing about my new job the way I had been about the old. I'm so incredibly happy with what I'm doing, and I think that comes through in my attitude more now. I think back to my pregnancy with Colter, and I wonder if I would have been such a bitch if I hadn't been babysitting adults all day long. Really. Counting the minutes they used going to the bathroom while on company time. I'm not even joking.

We got a lot of fun jam packed into the time we spent together, my little family and I. Portland is a destination we will definitely go back to again. Either with the kids or just the two of us, but either way I can't wait to go back. And now that Colter is getting bigger and about ready to talk I foresee a lot more outdoors fun now that we can take him out to walk and explore, learn to swim and camp and run around with his sister.

So let's all raise our glasses to 2010, as we usher it out the door in less than a months' time. Next up: resolutions and tax tips for the coming year. Stay tuned!